Cat Behavior
by Ryntaia
Summary: <html><head></head>Dandy picks on the space cat for being such a cat...I mean, Betelgeusian. Yeah, that. Short, silly fic focusing on cat behavior.</html>


Cat Behavior

If there was anything that Space Dandy _wasn't_, it was a cat person.

So it was an eternal, everyday, nonstop question how he had ended up with a cat.

Though said cat would consistently and quite irately remind them all that he was NOT a cat and in fact a type of alien called Betelgeusian. Like Dandy really gave a flying shit—as long as Meow wasn't an unknown alien than the alien hunter really couldn't be bothered what the hell he was. The space cat ("_Betelgeusian_, you jackass!") would just snort and go back to his phone and seafood pizza, flipping impatiently through his various posts with stubby little gray-furred paws. His free paw would curl around a large pillow of some animated woman in a sickeningly loving manner.

And at that point, Dandy would wonder where the hell Meow got off claiming to not be a cat in any way.

As the small paw curled around the pillow, sharp claws would emerge from the short and matted fur to roughly (and seemingly unconsciously) knead at the thin white fabric. By this point tiny holes were starting to rip through—the Betelgeusian didn't seem to take any notice. Or if he did, he didn't care much. The most he did to acknowledge it was to flip the dakimakura woman over to absentmindedly pad at the legs instead of the shoulders and breasts. The stupid thing seemed to serve more purpose as a kneading toy than as a comforting woman. Meow seemed to go into a completely self-indulgent, withdrawn mode when kneading on his stupid pillow—either completely focused on messing with the dakimakura, or completely focused on whatever dumb comic he was reading at the time.

Followed, of course, by falling asleep in a curled little mass.

"Not a cat, huh." Dandy muttered.

"Is it really worth fighting over, Dandy?" QT inquired, though he would've rolled his eyes at his own comment if his body had the function—he should've known better. In the Aloha Oe, EVERYTHING was worth picking a fight over with Dandy and Meow. The robot just couldn't understand their logic sometimes. So he would just cover his digital eyes and faced away from the impending pointless argument.

The robot moved his mechanical arms away when it didn't come.

"Dandy?"

"Not a cat, huh…" The Aloha Oe captain mused; QT realized that Dandy was muttering to himself at this point. The robot sighed. That could be just as bad as him being forward with his intentions, really. Especially since the poor cleaning robot would pretty much just have to wait the stupidity out. Still, it could easily just mean that QT wouldn't have to have anything to do with the commotion…which would be nice.

Dandy hefted himself up from his seat with a grunt, sauntering over to the couch where the Betelgeusian lay curled against the dakimakura pillow. A satisfied expression was plastered on his cat-shaped mouth, one fang scraping out against the fur of his chin. For certain the alien freeloader wasn't waking up anytime soon—he just shifted at the feeling of people closing in on him, both arms sticking out stiffly from his torso. Dandy raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips in annoyance.

"Dandy, for crying out loud, just let him slee—"

"Don't you have a ship to navigate, QT?" The man commented offhandedly. QT emitted a slight screeching sound and rushed over to the now empty controls, trying to fix the currently slightly off path of the Aloha Oe. The robot proceeded to ignore Dandy's actions from there on out, focused completely on guiding the ship controls that the man had chosen to abandon in favor of looking at a space cat.

Crouching down, Dandy reached out absentmindedly and pushed a few fingers under Meow's furred chin. The Betelgeusian wasn't too rough in texture, but he wasn't exactly soft either. Somewhere in between was the best estimation of how the calico fur pattern felt—a bit like a stray or something. Probably because the cat-like creature didn't exactly clean himself with great frequency or anything. Tongue cleaning may be appropriate for an actual cat, Dandy thought with annoyance, but sure as hell not for this weird-ass alien thing that had boarded his ship—the smell of fish was radiating off Meow. He filtered it in the back of his mind to toss the damn Betelgeusian in the bath sometime soon. Maybe with some help from QT, if the robot was feeling like playing the fighting game with the cat.

The pompadoured man's thoughts were interrupted abruptly when a sound cut through. He realized he had been loosely and absentmindedly scratching at the patch of fur under Meow's chin; the cat-like creature had shifted slightly on his back at the action. More surprisingly, though, a soft sound had emerged from him—a rough constant rumbling sound that was unmistakably a happy purr of pleasure.

"Not a cat, huh." Dandy looked back to QT with a triumphant smirk on his features. One hand continued to scratch at the Betelgeusian's chin. Meow didn't seem to be awoken by it—the purring sound simply increased in volume and one paw rubbed almost affectionately against the fingers scratching him. QT rolled his eyes at the clear amusement on Dandy's face as he continued to mess around with the sleeping alien.

"Dandy, you may not know this, but animals besides cats purr." QT informed the captain. The tall man snorted. "It's true! Several different species on the planet Earth have been documented to purr, like ring tailed lemurs, and off of the planet Earth there have been several documented alien creatures who pur—"

"And do those documented alien creatures look like space cats?" Dandy interrupted immediately. QT tapped his chin lightly in thought. Sometimes it was difficult to summon the knowledge in his database, what with being such an older model…

"Well, no, but—"

"Space cat. Talking space cat." Dandy snickered as the paw playing with his fingers moved away to meet with Meow's mouth, each gray furred stub being absentmindedly licked and cleaned. "I was right all along."

"If I tell you that you were right, can I avoid a pointless argument with you about it?" QT asked tiredly. There was no way to express how much he was not in mood for this kind of conversation with Dandy.

"Even if you don't, I'll still be right." Dandy grinned impishly. At this point he had to talk a little bit louder due to how loudly the sleeping Betelgeusian was purring—apparently the alien creatures were just as fond of affectionate scratching as their Earth lookalikes. Meow was already shifting slightly, possibly in hopes of more petting in another location. He certainly was more forward with cat behavior when asleep. It was pretty funny, in Dandy's honest opinion, especially considering how frontally hateful Meow was about being called a space cat.

"Well, just don't keep that up, alright? I don't want trouble when he wakes up…" QT trailed off as Meow yawned widely and rested his head against the top of dakimakura pillow, yellow eyes blinking in thinly veiled confusion. Dandy didn't bother stopping his actions—his hand just briefly hovered above the Betelgeusian's head then moved to scratch the alien's forehead. Unwittingly the cat creature continued a low and unintentional purring sound. "Oh, COME ON, Dandy…don't start trouble, come on…"

"Uhrmmm…." Meow moaned loudly, cutting through his purrs. "Oh man…are we there already…? That was fast…"

"Nah, it'll be another hour or so." Dandy commented, placing his arms on his knees and grinned annoyingly at the half-awake alien. Meow glared at the man, suspicion boiling in his slit yellow eyes. He didn't even have to ask why the hell Dandy had woke him up if they weren't there yet. The question was blaringly obvious in his expression…not that Meow had really earned any right to spend his time constantly sleeping and messing around on his phone. QT considered interrupting the oncoming fight (he could already sense it formulating) but decided that there was no point. Bonehead and Blockhead could deal with their own pissing match, and all the robot could do was hope they didn't blow up the ship in the process.

"WHY did you come over here and bug me, then?" Meow demanded. Dandy snorted in amusement, only serving to further aggravate the other. The Betelgeusian made to make more smartass comments, but the pompadoured man interrupted the cat-like creature by reaching out and continuing the scratch the white patch under Meow's chin. A clear rush of bristled fur ran across the alien's body at the action; however, despite the clear aggravation, his body quickly forced itself to calm down as quiet purrs emerged from him. Yellow eyes slowly closed and furred shoulders dropped from their position of frustration as the rumbling sounds grew in intensity.

It was all very entertaining for Dandy.

God damn thing really WAS a space cat, just enjoying a good pet.

Of course, Dandy being Dandy, had to ruin everything.

"Good kitttty." The Aloha Oe captain cooed, tone purposely demeaning. Meow's eyes snapped open sharply. Dandy snickered at the action. "Good kitty, enjoy a good pet. Does the kitty want a kitty toy too?"

"Dandy." Meow interrupted, tone surprisingly calm. The purring had yet to fully end but it was quickly lowering to a disappearing point. "Kitty is going to shred your face."

QT sighed loudly, trying desperately to ignore the fight that broke out behind him.


End file.
